How To Find Joy The Day After.

     It kind of hit me out of nowhere, this empty feeling. Like all of the joy and excitement had drained away like a tub of water. I expect it the day after Christmas. When December 26 rolls around, there has been such a building up of weeks of anticipation. The world looks different everywhere your eyes fall. Not just at home, but in the city, the lights are brighter, there is extra bustling, bells are ringing and holiday music plays softly in the background. In the country, dark winding roads are lit, with red and green lights strung on a lonely evergreen and dark soil has been draped in white blankets. So in the aftermath of crumpled paper, remains of food, and a tired looking tree I expect that sinking, somewhat weary, feeling.  

    But, it's November 25th. We are just now embracing every part of this joyful time of year and yet, there it was. Staring me in the face. That feeling of my heart being deflated. I think sometimes we mentally prepare ourselves for something and that coupled with people covering us in prayer carries us through the obvious difficult times that may lie before us. But, there is always the day after. No matter what it is. The day after a holiday. The day after a special memory. The day after a family event. The day after some sort of climax in life. If we are not aware beloved, this is when the enemy loves to come calling. He loves to catch us unaware and breathe despair upon our hearts. Maybe this isn't you. Maybe you have never experienced this "day after feeling". If not then may you be aware that for so many people for so many different reasons, the " day after" can be just as hard as the "day of".

"Be alert and of sober mind, your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him standing firm in the faith."  1 Peter 5:8,9

"Stay alert with your eyes wide open in gratitude. Don't forget to pray for us. " Col. 4;2,3

     How are we to handle this? What do we do when despair comes knocking or our spirits start to sink? We remember. We remember who are enemy is. Not the people that he uses to come against us, but the enemy himself. We stand firm in our faith. We remember who the God we serve is.

He is the Lion of Judah.
He is the Great I Am.
He is the beginning and the end.
He is the faithful one.
He is the light of the world.
and so much more...

     We keep our eyes wide open in gratitude continuing to give thanks day by day, even moment by moment for all the ways he loves us.

     We pray.

     He continues to remind me that when all around me seems dark all he wants, is for me to take his hand and let him lead me gently forward. Won't you take his hand beloved?

Cultivating A Heart of Thanksgiving.

     Every November the landscape changes just a bit. I'm not talking about how the trees start to shed their glorious leaves but rather the fabric of our thoughts and conversations start to alter. We begin to share the things we are thankful for on social media. We talk about abundance of food, family and good times. We anticipate the joy of the holiday season heading our way. This may be one of the reasons it's my favorite time of year. I love the contagious joy and intentional thoughts of goodness and appreciation. 

     This morning as I was reflecting on all those things I was reminded of what a journey the Lord has taken me on, cultivating a heart of thanksgiving in me. Not just in November but all year long. It's been a process for sure and there are times that my heart forgets some of God's goodness in the shadows of life's hard, or things that make me anxious. However when I look back, it's a gift I will never stop giving thanks for, that gift of perspective. Part discipline (Ann Voscamp, teaching me how to count my gifts) and actually making myself do that, and part revelation.
     When life gets hard and ,the way we envisioned it would always be, ceases to even exist we have two choices. We can become bitter or we can press into the Father. We can hop back up on that potter's wheel and say, "Fashion me into the vessel you want for your glory." It's a choice we make, not one time but again and again. 

   The season of hard we began walking through started almost 3 years ago, but as the Lord has promised us, He went before me teaching me the discipline of noticing the year before that one. I read the book One Thousand Gifts,by Ann Voscamp and took up the joyful task of giving thanks for even the smallest of things that might have gone unseen before. The light glinting off a cardinals wing, the laughter of my children, the smell of coffee brewing all caused my heart to sing with renewed joy. The practice of noticing and giving thanks shifted my focus from the little things that used to rob me of my peace to all the tiny drops of grace the Lord was showering my days with. 
     I began to pray more for him to reveal to my heart how great His love is. 

" I pray that the perception of your mind my be enlightened so you may know what is the hope of his calling, what are the glorious riches of his inheritance and what is the immeasurable greatness of His power to us who believe, according to the working of His vast strength." Eph.1:18-23

     Life got even harder. When life gets hard, your world becomes smaller. It takes all that you have to take care of body and soul for you and your family and the way you invest in others has to be in the form of prayer rather than constant physical interaction. This too can be a lonely time or a time when you press into the Father once again. He shows you beautiful things, the heart of a man sitting alone in a cancer waiting room and He gives you His words to drop into that man's spirit. He shows you ways that He alone is ministering to your spirit; Impromptu prayers of strangers over you in hospital corridors on a day you just want to be in church, selfless love radiating from your surgeon and the many nurses. Friends who prepare a room for you to stay in during treatment, a home away from home.
     When you begin practicing the presence of God, it opens up a whole new world of sight. It is this perspective, this seeing with new eyes that allows you to walk by faith. What once was impossible is now the only way. The only way to move forward in joy is to give thanks with each step. When the big things are taken out of your hands it's easier to let the little things go. So you do.

     Cultivating the ground is a  process. It's breaking the hard outer shell of earth, it's stirring up the soil adding pockets of air to the earth to make it moveable more suitable for planting. The ground is better prepared for the seed, that becomes the plant, that bears the fruit for the harvest. 
     Cultivating a heart of thanksgiving is a process, but we have a good gardener and the harvest is so worth it.  I pray that the perception of our hearts are enlightened during this season of "giving thanks"and after..Ask the Lord to help you notice some things today you may have formerly passed by, and give thanks for them. Share in the comments below. 

What Does Courage Look Like?

     The trees on my morning walk are changing. The last of the bright red leaves are bravely clinging to their branches, while the ground is covered in every autumn hue. With each gust of wind they rain down, a fresh blanket for my feet to crush in the passing.

     As the days grow shorter and the sun starts to shine not as warm, we are faced with the eminent passing of yet another season. While I anticipate the beauty of the next one, my heart's not quite ready to bid fall good-bye. My flesh wants to hang on to every drop of today not sure of what tomorrow could bring, and I breath a prayer, "Make me strong, Lord, make me strong in you."

       Courage seems to be so much more than standing firm. It's advancing into the unknown in spite of fears that try to shake you. This word " courage" is synonymous in my mind with the story of Joshua and Caleb. When the Israelites were ready to take hold of the land that God had promised them they sent spies into the land ahead of time so that they would know what they were up against. While most of the spies came back shaking in their boots because of how strong their enemy appeared before them, Joshua and Caleb had a different response. Even though there were giants in the land, ( it says they felt like grasshoppers in comparison) Caleb said, "We should by all means go up and take possession of it, for we will surely overcome it." How was it possible for him to have such confidence in the face of such overwhelming opposition? Not only were the voices around him speaking doom and gloom but his own eyes testified of the great mountain of difficulty that lay before them. Truly the odds were more than stacked against them  and yet...

     Sometimes courage looks like when we are afraid we put our trust in God anyway;

"When I am afraid, I will trust in you, in God whose word I praise." Psalm 56:3,4 

     It is possible beloved to move forward with the words of our mouths praising Him for all that He is and all that He has done for us in the past. Then we can pave the way for our future with more words of praise; of trust in His ability to remove, redeem, restore, rescue and work all things for our good. Sometimes courage looks like waiting.

"Wait for the Lord, be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." Psalm 27:14 

     Often times life can be difficult and we desperately want to skip over the pain of present circumstances. However, there are gifts to be had in the waiting beloved. When we are required to sit and wait in the hallways of life, he is with us in the waiting and he is producing good things while we wait.

       We are just like a little seed that is buried in the dark earth. Little do we know, that while we wait for the glorious green shoot to appear on the other side of the darkness in the bright light of the sun, there is life unfurling from within. Long before that shoot can be seen, bursting from its grave, a small tendril of life has already broken through its hard outer shell and is working its way up through the dirt. What might God be producing in you in the wait?

   Sometimes courage looks like moving forward.

"Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged for the Lord your God will go with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9 

     While sometimes we are required to wait, other times the Lord calls us forward and like Abraham we may not know much beyond the next step to lay our foot. But rest assured dear ones, that when he calls us out he does not require us to go it alone, and though you may leave all that you know you take with you the one who knows all. 

     His promises are true and He is Truth! When the way he has called you seems dark or lonely press into Him and let him be your light.

"The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear." Psalm 27:1

      The bottom line is that when we put our trust in Christ we do not walk alone.

"He will never leave you or forsake you." Deut. 31

"For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

    Yes, the way may seem long and at times not smooth but because His word is true, we walk in His strength and power. We are then able to rejoice in our weaknesses, knowing that in them His power is made perfect in us.

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power."( Eph. 6)

     The more we walk this broken path the more we see that it's all about a shift in our perspective. A different position to view this traveler's road from. Where are our eyes focused? Are they on me, or are they on my God? 

"Haven't I commanded you: Be Strong and Courageous?" 

Joshua 1:9

How To Find Peace During the Holidays, Or Any Day.

Sitting on a chaise lounge wrapped in the fluffiest robe you can imagine, sipping on hot tea and gazing out the window at beautiful evergreen trees. Their spiny tips crammed full of clusters of pine cones. I drag in a deep shaky breath and let out a huge sigh. 

    Immediately my thoughts start to scold me. "How in the world are you capable of feeling stress at a time like this? You are in the lap of luxury! A sweet gift of time away in a beautiful place from a kind friend."
     I answer myself."I don't deserve this. It's too good for me."
     Before my mind can form the next words I feel the Father's loving words drip down on my mind. "But, I love you beloved. You are mine! My daughter, that I desire to shower with gifts, just a reminder that I am here and you are loved." 
Just a few weeks before I almost didn't accept this sweet gift. The prospect of going away by myself to a quiet spot seemed more daunting than relief. I remember a time when my children were small, that I would have jumped at the chance for this kind of get away. But, life is different, not at all what I expected, and while my kids aren't completely grown they are older and their presence brings comfort and their needs a distraction from the feelings and emptiness that flood my heart.

     Still I felt the Spirit wooing me to come away with Him, to trust Him... I almost couldn't beloved, for the enemy was quick to tell me that being alone wasn't good for me. In fact the memories and pain would overwhelm me and undo me.  Thankfully the Lord spoke louder to my heart.

" For I know the plans I have for you (daughter) to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you hope and a future."
"I have not been given a spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind." 
"I can do all things through Christ, who gives me strength.

Is it possible to fear the very thing that will bring life? An awakening of sorts from the pain that dulls your senses and makes you immune to the beauty of God's grace around you and in you. Remember the garden? The enemy of our souls was quick to whisper in Adam and Eve's ear that God did not have their best interests at heart. In fact it was the opposite and they would do well to listen to him instead. 
    Live as people of the light! For this light within you produces only what is good and right and true. (Eph.5:9) When you choose to follow Jesus you become a person of the light. We must then live as people of the light,thinking on whatever is good and lovely and pure,receiving in ourselves all that the presence of His Spirit brings. For, our bodies are His very temple the place in which He dwells.

     How often do you sit in pure silence, when your mind is free from distractions and you are free to dwell only on the Father's goodness? When was the last time you said, " Speak Lord your servant is listening? "This is not a scary thing dear ones. This is a sweet thing. A time when the Lord can remind you of all the ways He has been faithful and all the ways He will be. It can be a time of reflection, conviction, repentance, healing and moving towards the plans that God has for you. But, if we are not careful, the enemy of our soul will keep us from it. We will be too busy, too stressed, too worried, too distracted and too tired to hear His voice. 
     In Mark 6:31, Jesus says, " Come away with me. Let us go alone to a quiet place and rest awhile." 
     He invites us beloved. I'm so glad that fear and weariness didn't keep me from Him this time and I want to go again. 
The holidays are right around the corner and we might just blink into a new year. We make lists of who is coming, what to cook, what to buy. We clean and we scour, we freshen beds and fill the fridge. But, have we filled our heart? He beckons us to come away with Him to quiet place and rest awhile.  Will you come? 

Come Away With Me On A Walk To Remember

     As Anne of Green Gables would say, "I've come to invite you on one of our old time rambles." I wanted to invite you, dear readers, into the walk I took in the mountains today. How appropriate that the Lord would take me away to the mountains to be with him. Alan's place.
  I love the mountains but Alan loved them!  I finally found the chapel that was a short walk from the resort where I was staying and when I sat down on the back row, not sure why I was here exactly, I started with thank you!

    Thank you Father for calling me away. Thank you for the beauty that surrounds me and that you are present, with me. Thank you for this stone building, alongside a babbling brook, that serves as a place to "be still" and draw near to you.
     It's not the place that makes Him draw near dear ones but the space that is birthed in our hearts when we slow down and are mindful of Him.
     Of all the memories that would flood my mind when I sat , He brought Alan's hand stroking mine. The solid, strong hand that made me feel safe and protected, cherished and taken care of. And, I felt the "be strong" shell around my heart crumble into tears.
Then, He reminded me of the lyrics of a new song Adam just wrote a few days ago that had really ministered to my heart and it all came clear.
I wondered why the words "steady handed" would make me weep. This is why, they are the Lord's hands and He reminded me in this small stone chapel in the mountains so many miles from home that the very part of Alan that made my heart feel at rest was just a reflection of my Father's hands. Sure and steadfast. 
"I cling to you; your right hand holds me securely." Psalm 63:8

     They are strong enough to hold me. They are strong enough to hold you, no matter the situation you are in. He is able and in Him, you are too. Not because you have it all together and can handle anything that comes your way but because you don't and you can't but He can and He will. Rest in Him, Trust in Him. Let the Lord fight for you, you need only be still.

What Is Your Why?

     Have you ever asked yourself why you are doing what you're doing? Is it your passion? Is it something you fell into and chose by default? Did someone choose it for you?
     I'm just starting to let myself dream. I feel a bit guilty even typing that word, "Dream". It feels selfish  and indulgent and like, I surely could be spending my time a better more productive way.
But, I am being challenged lately to reconsider that thought. Emily P. Freeman says it this way, "Pursuing desire is only toxic when we demand our desires be satisfied on our terms and in our timing. As recipients of the new heart of the Spirit, our deepest desire, when honestly realized, will always lead us to God. It takes courage to honestly consider desire in the presence of Jesus."

     And so this morning as the Spirit drew me back to Philippians 2, I sat in the first view verses once again. Only this time I couldn't just move on.

"Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if an affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose."

I found my "Why" in one verse. This is my desire, Lord! It is why I put pen to paper and string words together on this laptop. My "desire" is one with His desire! I pray that the words that I tap out bring encouragement. It is my desire that you, dear reader, would feel me sitting with you, with  deep affection and compassion for whatever circumstance you might find yourself in. I desire that  the Holy Spirit would join our hearts by the words that He gives, bringing fellowship and consolation. May we walk away from this place where we meet with hearts no longer broken, but rather just a bit bruised. May we be reminded when we revisit those memories or hard places, when our fingers seek out that tender spot, that the hard places were holy places. For even in the unwanted circumstances that life may bring us we find the presence of God. He gathers us in even deeper to His heart, sings words of love over us, sets us back on our feet and sends us out once again intent on one purpose. Living to bring glory to the King!

     This is why I write beloved! What desires lie deep within in your heart,that may be leading you deeper into the Father's heart, so that you might step out and share them with a hurting world? What is your Why?  

He Restores My Soul.

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
There  is no good thing that I lack. His provision is enough in life, in my circumstances, in my heart, and no matter how weary my soul may feel. He is more than enough!
I shall not want.

He makes me to lie down in green pastures.
Like a sheep in a field with his shepherd,  He leads me to a place where I can rest. I am safe there from the enemy of my soul, for I have a good shepherd and He bids me rest. 
He makes me lie down. 

He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul. 
Sometimes you just have to speak amazing truth over your own soul. Remember His word does not return empty. So this morning as I took my morning walk. I past a stream that wasn't moving and into my mind and then out of my mouth poured. 
"He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul. He restores my soul! Thank you Jesus that your are restoring my soul!"

He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His names sake. 
When I listen to His voice, that paths He leads me down will be righteous. No matter how steep, how treacherous they appear or even feel beloved, it is all for HIS name sake. It's for His glory! 
He leads me in paths of righteousness.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for you are with me! 
Valleys often feel like you are walking in the shadows. It's almost like the real life happening around you can't quite touch you. The grief and or hardship has removed you from fully engaging with those around you. But, the good news dear ones is that we can walk through it without being afraid! Do you hear me soul? ( as I speak to myself...) I don't have to fear any evil! He is with me! And no weapon formed against me shall prosper! 
I fear no evil walking through the valley for you are with me!

Your rod and your staff they comfort me.
Shepherds used rods to count, guide, rescue and protect their sheep, while the staff was used for support. 
We serve an Almighty God who is not far removed from us beloved. Rather He is right there in the midst of our mess. He is our body guard so to speak hemming us in, guiding us. He is our rescue and in all these ways our hearts are comforted rather than shaken. 
Your rod and staff they comfort me. 

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You have anointed my head with oil. 
Because He loves us and rescues and protects us we are so dear to Him beloved that He feeds us. He honors us with anointing oil and He does this in the middle of our enemies and trials! We don't have to fear remember. He isn't afraid, He has got this and we can even eat partaking of His goodness. 
You prepare a table before me.

My cup overflows! Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever! 
Not only will He meet your needs and rescue us but He will bless us so abundantly that our cup truly does overflow, into the lives of others. Remember, it's all for His names sake. We can count on this amazing care for all of our days until He leads us home. To our forever home! 
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever! 

I encourage you to read the 23rd Psalm out loud and make it personal. The Lord is my shepherd! 
There is such life and truth, promises and HOPE! I have enjoyed going on this Quest for Hope with you beloved. I look forward to anymore days ahead that the Lord would have us gather in this place. This hallowed ground, this holy place because He is present with us, this place becomes holy. His Spirit somehow changes us and my prayer is that  we would  go out once again with our eyes refastened on Him and His goodness and faithfulness, That we would seize joy and share it with others as the tender gift that it is. Goodnight my readers.